31 December, 2006

South St Comedy Club

Hey peeps. I want to give a big holla to the South St Comedy Club. What a great venue and staff. Harvey, thanks for having us out this weekend and thanks to everyone who came out to the shows. Keep supporting live comedy. Have a Happy New Year; see you in 2007!

Ho

23 December, 2006

BERNEE is a go-go!

Hey kidz! Mark your calendars. The date is set. BERNEE (you know that movie I did over the summer) will be screened January 25, 2007 at the Palace Theater in Gallatin, TN. Cost is $5. Stay tuned on the time. You can also keep updated on www.berneethemovie.com.

In other news -- Merry Christmas!! That's right, I said Christmas.

Ho

20 November, 2006

Holidays

What is up with this crazy PS3 thing? People getting trampled and shot for an electronic devic? it's not the fountain of youth or the key to the universe people (that's only in He-Man). get over yourselves. you're only gonna be doing the same thing next year when this year's model is obsolete.

on to other news: I'll be performing at Zanies in Nashville on December 3rd. Please come out and enjoy some comedy. Also, one of my good friends Amanda Bailey is finishing up a run in the show "Matt & Ben" at the Belcourt Theater. If you can make it to one of the last shows after Thanksgiving please do. I bet you've never seen a chick play a dude as well as Amanda plays Ben Affleck. Kudos to the crew.

Ho, ho, ho

can't wait for Santa

04 November, 2006

Church St Cafe

Woo, woo! hey guys. just wanted to say the show tonight went well. thanks to everyone who came out and special thanks to Robert for organizing and hosting the show AND to the Church St Cafe for sharing their venue.

Looks like the latest on "Bernee" is this: we are still in post production mainly for the score. Hoping for a screening date in early December now. As usual, I will keep you posted.

Ho

15 October, 2006

No On 1

OK apparently I had a brain fart on that last post. I failed to mention the location of the "No On 1" benefit show. It's gonna be at the Church St Cafe in Nashville, TN. The date is still the same: November 4th, 8 PM. See you there!

Ho

12 October, 2006

Bernee News

Hey guys. Here's the latest on the movie. I just saw a rough cut tonight and it's lookin' good. :) We're hoping for a screening date the first week in November so mark your calendars. We've also been contacted about screenings in other cities so check the website www.berneethemovie.com to stay posted.

Also, I'm performing in a comedy show to benefit the No On 1 campaign on November 4th. That's a Saturday at 8 PM. Each comic is doing 20 minutes; tx are $10. so come on out and support stand-up comedy.

Heather Ho

02 October, 2006

Poop Patrol

There's nothing like coming home from a ridiculous day at work and finding a steaming pile of poo your dog has left for you right in the middle of carpet. Can he not go on the flooring in front of door? NOOOOOOO!!!! He has to shit right smack dab in the middle of the floor! On the carpet!

Despite this rant I love him to death. He is, after all, my doodlebug. Thanks Swoosh.

Poop Patrol #33

01 October, 2006

Direct Insurance

Well I need to address something. I have been receiving numerous calls in the last 2 weeks regarding a certain insurance commercial. People accusing me of being in a commercial looking "Partridge" like while peddling car insurance savings. To answer all of your questions: Yes, it's me! Are you happy? If you're one of the only people in Nashville to not see this thing consider yourself lucky. And remember, we saved big money.

Ho

24 September, 2006

Sweet Home Alabama

Hey kidz. I performed at the Stardome Comedy Club in Birmingham, AL last night and what a great club. A big shout out to all the performers last night and their guests. You guys rock! I look forward to returning on a regular basis--- If gas prices don't take a big bite out of my ass!

"Bernee" is still bumpin' along in the editing process. Hopefully we'll have a screening date pretty soon. Until next time.

Ho

21 September, 2006

Thank You!

Thanks to everyone who came out to Zanies last night! It was great! There were people there that I haven't seen in years. yeah old friends! anyway, great to see everyone and who can resist the chants of "Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho!" that's music to my ears baby.

until next time

Ho

20 September, 2006

Zanies

Hey kidz! Come on out to Zanies tonight and enjoy some live comedy. The show starts at 7:30 PM. bring your tickle boxes so we can kick 'em over! Oh and bring your wallet, it's a 2 item minimum. see you there!

Ho

13 September, 2006

Fire Down Below!

Well, it's official. I have an avulsion fracture of my ankle. This just proves my point: DO NOT PLAY AGAINST CRAPPY PLAYERS (Especially when they are amazon in size)! That is all.

toodles

12 September, 2006

Oy My Sore Ankle

I'm officially gimpy. I was playing soccer Sunday in an indoor semi-final game and an opposing player stepped on my foot forcing my ankle to roll out. after feeling a bad pop I laid on the field writhing in pain, told the other team just how much I enjoy playing them because of their lack of skills and dropped a few F-bombs along the way as most drama queens do. Oh well. I should be off crutches tomorrow. but no soccer for a few weeks.

In better news, once again I'll be at Zanies Wed, Sept 20th at 8 PM. If you get a chance check out Lisa Lampanelli Sept 14-17. She is fabulous! And super nice off stage as well.

Later kidz

Ho

04 September, 2006

Labor Day

well happy Labor Day everyone! It sounds like we should all be giving birth or something. anyway, enjoy your burgers and processed meats in tube form. try to be civil. don't let on to aunt bertha that her potato salad tastes chalky. stop and smell the roses today because tomorrow they won't be there. the winter ya know -- it cometh. :)

bu, bye kids

Ho

31 August, 2006

Fini

Well, we are finished filming "Bernee" and I'm sad in a way; because today I went back to my day job and although it sufficiently pays the bills it is not what I am passionate about. And of course the shoot itself was a lot of fun! :) So, until the premier I will secretly paint my fingernails purple and occasionally yell out "Jackie Roy knows I'm not a lesbian!" to random people on the street. that ought to be interesting.

keep track of the website www.berneethemovie.com for details on the premier and release of the DVD.

Also, I'll be at Zanies Sept 20th at 8 pm. Come on out and support live comedy!

Ho

29 August, 2006

Bernee delay

hey kidz. Well, we were hoping to wrap last night but due to the fabulous Nashville weather we have been unavoidably delayed! you see we have a drive-by shooting scene that requires a car rig. OK there's no drive-by but there is car rig that you can't use in the rain so there you go. It's just as well, I am now officially sick from the lack of sleep my immune system has received in the past 2 weeks. It has however been the best case of sleep deprivation in my lifetime. Pulling all-nighters in college simply do not hold a candle to filming your first major role in a feature film.

Another first for me: last night I ate 2 double cheeseburgers back to back. yeah baby! If you know me, that's a big deal.

well, until next time.

Ho

25 August, 2006

The Bernee Saga Continues

OK I have a few more tidbits about the movie to throw your way so here goes: hot panties, sleep spillage, grocery cart capades, marshmallow stick and washing machine pleasure. We're in the home stretch people and this just in: we're hoping for a premier in late October. Yeah us!

And to my fat-ass director and giggles the DP, I loves ya.

"Jackie Roy knows I'm not a lesbian!" -- Bernee

22 August, 2006

Bernee shoot

Well we have 6 full days of shooting under our belts and I am freakin' exhausted! Thanks to all the extras who have come out to help. We appreciate your time. Thanks to the Hendersonville Fire Department. You guys rock! We have a scene with a fire and these guys brought their truck and geared up for the shoot. Way cool!

I'm not going to tell you too many details. You guys will just have to wait for the premier! Although I will say this: industrial fog machine, flying cherry tomatoes, waddle run and "LESBIAN!?"

OK This is my day off. I'm going back to bed. Until next time.

Ho

17 August, 2006

Blue Goose Cafe

Alright kids. Day one of shooting is under our belts. I think it went well. Of course only the footage will tell. I want to give a Woo-Woo to the staff at the Blue Goose Cafe where we shot day #1. That place rocks. If you get a chance swing by and have a little breakfast or a cheeseburger sometime.

Or if food doesn't do it for you at least check out the plastic blue goose mascot they have on the premises. He wears a red bandana and guards the cash register.

16 August, 2006

Today's the Day!

hey kids. well, today is the day. we start shooting "Bernee." We'll be at the Blue Goose Cafe in Hendersonville, TN if you feel the need to come on by. But please, no heckling. Actors are sensitive creatures. Their egos are easily bruised.

Oh and check out the official website for the movie: www.berneethemovie.com

you'll find all the info you need to know and some stuff you really don't want to know.

cheers
Ho

11 August, 2006

Rehearsals

Hey guys! I'm excited about this movie! We've got a talented cast and the rehearsals are going well. Shooting starts August 16th and all locations for the movie are in Hendersonville, TN. If you're curious about the shoot schedule or want to be an extra then check out that website I listed in the previous blog.

Just a blurb about the characters. Bernee (that would be me) is a single mom/waitress who is getting pulled in three directions by her diner boss Jib (who is old enough to be her diddy), the lovable and horny deputy sheriff and a lesbian church choir singer. Now what could get more interesting than that?

Not much I guarantee! Stay tuned for more about "Bernee"

02 August, 2006

Bernee

Hey guys! First off I want to say thanks to all the people who came out to the open-mic at Comedy Off Broadway last night. Thanks for supporting live comedy. I don't care if you were laughing with us or at us as long as you laughed.

And now for the big news. I have somehow managed to land the title role in an independent feature film called "Bernee." Craziness, huh? I am super-psyched about this and am looking forward to sharing in the process with you guys. We start shooting August 16th. I hope to blog about rehearsals, shoot details, etc. so stay tuned. In the meantime check out the website www.lendersmorgan.com/bernee.htm for more info. Talk to ya soon

Ho

14 June, 2006

Back from Maui

Hey kids, I'm back from Hawaii. And I won't lie, I didn't want to come back. But, you can only swim with so many turtles and eat so many pineapples before it's back to reality so there you go. Anyway, here I am back in the non-tropical NashVegas with only wild rabbits and grapes. I just want to give a woo-woo to my brother-in-law who has gone through something life-threatening and who underwent surgery last night. He's still in ICU so please keep him in your thoughts and prayers, or whatever it is you guys worship. Personally I like the tiki man from Hawaii. Get well Dave.

Ho

30 May, 2006

crash test dummy

hey kids. well, I was in a bit of a fender-bender a couple of days ago. I'm OK but the Ho-mobile sustained a little damage. she's in surgery as we speak. to top that off, I broke my big toe yesterday. it's purple and swollen and painful, oh my! enough of that. I'll talk to you guys next week as I'll be in Hawaii drinking umbrella fruity drinks with very buff, tanned men.

Ho

25 May, 2006

Birthday

hey how 'bout a big shout-out to my friend Mary, or Mare as I like to call her. It's her birthday!!!! she should be running around naked with a lamp shade on her head right about NOW. Careful Mare. No riding bicycles under the influence. One wrong bump and that bar doesn't feel too good! Later guys

Ho

17 May, 2006

Oh, what to chat about? OK here's something. What really chaps my hide is the control freak. Now don't get me wrong, I am a bit on the type A side :) But I at least allow my creative side a little breathing room. Now I can't list the particular person at large but they are involved in my day job duties and will probably never read this. So, here goes: to that person: LIGHTEN THE HELL UP. You are driving me crazy.

On a lighter note, the soccer team I play on just won our league championship. Woo-hoo, way to go chicks.

Ho

15 May, 2006

Mom blog

Hey how 'bout a big shout out to the moms on Mother's Day. Thanks for birthin' us babies. 'Preciate that. And a special holla to my mom, Mama Ho for putting up with me and my sister's constant bickering from the repetitive "She's touching me" and the "I want what she has." We're glad you didn't put us out on the side of the road even though you threatened to numerous times.

Happy Mother's Day

07 May, 2006

Well ladies and gentlemen it seems Musty & Dusty are attempting to steal my thunder. what the hell kind of expression is that anyway? who came up with that? if you know please give me the scoop. anyway, for those of you who don't know, Musty & Dusty are a couple of has-been, countrified, beehive hair-doing, chain-smoking products of incest. they smoke so much they have a permanent throat rattle and sound much like Marge Simpson's sisters. Ohhhh Musty & Dusty, I love yas. we'll chat later.

B, I got my make-up tips from a true professional -- You. I hope that one day I can work my way up to being one of your girls, you pimpette you.

later guys

Ho

03 May, 2006

Hey guys. Thanks for visiting my blogspot, which I find fascinating by the way. Who has the time to read about a bunch of crap that happens to other people? Oh -- I guess you guys do. Well, I don't want to let you down so here goes. Today I almost got run over by an oversized load on wheels and then flipped off by what looked like a 90 year old man in drag. I returned to the comfort of my home only to be head-butted by my Jack Russell Terrier upon walking through the door. He has skilz. I've often thought about entering him in a high-jump competition. Either that or the NBA slam dunk contest.

Nothing else to report I guess. I will be at Zanies tonight so if you're around come on down.

Ho